My Value as a Creative

Hi Renee - I don't say much to you, but I'm here, every day, reading and learning from you. We're in different places, my kids are grown and I'm flying solo at this time in my life, but I still learn so much from you. I learn to value what is important to me (being outside, being creative, eating and living better). I learn not to minimize my value as a person and to affirm that value by living a life that is true to me. I learn to stretch myself, to push beyond a place of comfort because I want to grow more, not sit complacent with a false sense of safety. I learn, not because you're teaching/pushing me, but because you are you, and you put yourself out there with all your fears and worries, but you push through them. Yes, you have a built-in support network with your husband and parents and kids, but dog gone it, I have one too and I'm learning how to use them as well. (That's a stretch for me.) So, not sure if my words ever get to a point, but I suppose I just want to say, Thank You! Thank you for being you and putting yourself out there for the whole world (and me) to see. You truly are a blessing for so many.

I have not thought it all out before responding so I won't be able to say it beautifully like you but for years I've felt like I am meant to be "a bearer of the light of hope and encouragement"; I want to use my own personal struggles and experiences - be vulnerable and honest in all of this - thereby helping to set others free from shame and fear. Show Women/young women that they are not alone and that it is possible to move forward joyfully, perfect or not(mostly not). I do believe that I have value and a voice to share.

I admire the way that you have worked at your craft over the years, honing and developing your writing, for instance. All good things require work but hopefully work that fills you and makes you feel purposeful. This is what I want. I have had it thus far in raising my kids and loving my family but now some of the other dreams that were hidden away from the surface these years of parenting,(like a dream of writing - for pay!),are bubbling to the surface once more.

I think it is fair,when discussing writing for remuneration, to acknowledge that money simply helps us live. There is no greed or shame in that. We often do work that is supremely valuable that we will never be paid for but there are times when we also need or want to bring in income - and if we can do this from a place of passion and purpose then all the better.

You ask " What title would you give yourself if you ignored the butterflies in your stomach? What service would you offer if you couldn’t fail?"

In 2005 after being diagnosed with a chronic and potentially life-threatening blood disorder that could have easily sent me in a direction of sitting on my butt with self-pity, I started a journey towards a major career change. While I was running with a buddy she asked "what would you do/be if you won the lottery?" And my immediate answer was 'landscape designer'...but I realized I didn't have to wait for a 'lottery' so off I went in search of an education that I could take on while working full time, where I spent my days working as a project coordinator/communications planner/facilitator within the IT department of a railway company. So you see the major part.

Anyways, by the spring of 2006 I had taken the gift of being packaged out of my job as a chance to fast-track the life change, which is really what it was, and not only graduated my program but started working in the new industry.

My goal, in working with people on their gardens, was and still is, to help them create designed (intentional if you will), spaces that give them joy. Often I am stuck in the quagmire of construction details and permit processes and forget the rewarding part of the job...the day when a client tells me that they want to sit outside in their garden in the middle of a Canadian winter, it makes them so happy.

Sorry for the long reply. But the reason is this. Even with having made a change and in many ways realizing my dream, it is a constant challenge to see it and keep it as an ever-present light to move towards. Reading about your own journey helps me to remember to focus and continue to ask myself how I can grow. So thank you. Very much. For writing and sharing. Yes, your effort does have value.

This is not the first time I've commented, but I believe it is correct to state that your writing Renee has the vitality of water. When I first stumbled upon your homepage via Simple Homeschool, it was a refreshing, welcoming, blessing of a discovery. In your reflections and words I glimpsed a kindred mind and heart. Which is so odd, in the nature of the virtual world. How could that be?

There are many differences, of course, one main one is that I currently am feeling very worn out and overextended as a person and mind. So, it's difficult to answer the questions that you've pitched. But still worth trying:

I am a fierce-tender mother. A passionate educator. A verbal carpenter. Striving to become Elrond's homekeeper. (inspiration from "The Hobbit" - there's a beautiful description of the environment of his home and the restoration of spirit it offers to the travelers in that tale) If I could offer non-failing services? I'm not sure, I haven't thought out the potential in my gifts and passions yet as they stand now. Before motherhood, they were focused toward writing and editing other creative works of others and I had played with the idea of working with young women who had struggled with an eating disorder and longed to teach them how to cook without fear but with joy. But that was eight years ago.

I will take this opportunity to vision and dream though, and maybe (just maybe) go and do that thing.

Yay! Totally behind you! To discover who you are and be confident takes time, but to help others do so is a gift. You sure are an inspiration, and your work is worth being paid for. Go for it, and good ridance to the butterflies ;0)

Wanted to say you have already helped my family. My oldest (4 years old) of 3 kids has always been "picky" and I never knew how to handle it until I read your post for "picky eaters". It's been 2 weeks of telling him if he doesn't try each food on his plate, he will eat it at the next meal/snack. The longest he went was 22 hours of fasting (except drinks)over a green bean - but he finally ate it. Today he ate a pile of green beans with only a little fuss...he's even saying "thanks for the great supper, mom" now and trying foods on his own. Thanks again! I've also enjoyed your approach to homeschooling.

I would work to connect children and families to nature through guided outdoor experiences and nature journaling. I would also create beautiful gardens that would inspire people to slow down, enjoy simple pleasures, and get to know real food. My hope in these two (related) endeavors would be to help people in my community live healthier, happier, more fulfilled lives. I assume a secondary benefit would be that some people would learn a new appreciation for the earth and would begin caring more for it.

Thank you for getting the ball rolling Renee! I wish you the best in your endeavors!

Wow Renee, I command you for writing this amazing post, for not hiding after saying what you so beautifully said about yourself, yes, you nourish, you inspire and you help people, and this is awesome. I can't wait to read the next post!! This is so exciting!

I think that I bit like you, the title I would give myself would be an inspirer. I would like to help people trust themselves, trust their gut feeling and follow their dreams...