Pain


Living in no-man's-land

Living in no-man's-land

In my attempt to understand my life path, to explain the inevitable sense of loss and regret with midlife, I sometimes think "maybe I made a mistake, went the wrong way." But I didn't take a wrong turn that landed me in a place, physically and spiritually, where I feel the pain and loss of a broken world. I grew up. I woke up. I left the nest. I landed in no-man's-land with eyes to see the truth.

Solidarity at the margins

Solidarity at the margins

We have to experience what it's like as the outsider, the minority, the one without rights, to know what it feels like to be marginalized.

Hello Darkness my old friend

Hello Darkness my old friend

I thought I'd be able to power through my agenda, which included my writing agenda, and my to-do's with the happy ease of joyful holiday anticipation. And maybe I could have, but life happens. We read things, we see things, we have conversations; the pain, loneliness, and fear comes back to us afresh. Stuff slips through the cracks.

Presence in pain

Presence in pain

This is how we hold the beauty and the pain, by learning to bear afflictions with one another. We incarnate the love of God in being with one another. God is known to the other in each other when we give something of ourselves - our time, resources, skills, and agenda. And when we accept what others give.

What does it all mean?

What does it all mean?

The joy and the pain of being human are bound together like a knotted cord, and what gives meaning to that twisted reality is that we all share it. This is everyone's truth. This is a shared experience.

The losses we reckon with

The losses we reckon with

Not going to my grandma's funeral was painful. It was a loss to not be with my family during the remembering and celebrating of Grandma's life. Feeling shame, second-guessing my every decision, running down all "what if?" trails of my life doesn't help matters.

I'm not doing Advent this year

I'm not doing Advent this year

We long for a rescue, for the arrival, but what if that reality is already here? What if the rescue is knowing God, not outside of the shitty stable, but right in it? Not in the resolution of the hard thing, but in the experience of it?