Is it really Fall? I'm too busy thinking to notice

September 22, 2009

I'm in disbelief that it's the first day of fall. Where did summer go?

My mind and daily routine has been so focused on homechooling for the last couple weeks that I haven't been able to fully appreciate apple picking, fuzzy sweaters & socks, pots of soup, bugs and butterflies and yellow flowers against bright blue skies. We're doing and seeing them all but I'm just not really present - know what I mean?

After crashing yesterday night and re-evaluating life this morning I've gained some insight into the kind of mother and homemaker I am. I am very good at home organizing, home cooking, home planning, home making and even home cleaning. I am not so good at home schooling. By that I mean the traditional "school at home" approach to home education.

If you've read this blog for awhile you may be wondering, "I thought you were into relaxed (for lack of a better word) homeschooling?" Yes, we are. But every fall I get the urge to really "make sure" the kids are achieving "something". This year more than ever now that Celine is 10 and officially grade 5 age. I feel pressure (self induced) to "noticeably" progress in areas that I've neglected till now. But to say I've neglected them isn't fair either, they just weren't priorities at the time for our family. I'm asking myself and my husband "are they priorities for us now?"

The flavor of our homeschool environment is as much about who I am as a mother/individual/learner as it is about who my children are and what they want to learn. I can't be something I'm not. And I think it's fair to say I'm not a homeschooler. I'm not sure what I'd be called. Home director? Creative organizer? (as in I organize my children's creative endeavors).

I'm working this out. Talking, crying, thinking, wondering. So forgive all the homeschool related posts if you are coming here for say, soap recipes. Homeschooling is where I'm at right now and until I find peace in how we function as homeschoolers in this new stage of learning it will probably be a prominent feature* here at FIMBY.

*I've been working on (slogging my way through really) a three part series on how we homeschool our kiddos - our philosophy, practice and what it actually looks like day-to-day. I started it weeks ago but haven't finished it because I'm still figuring out the day-to-day!