The Tale of the Rule Breaking Mother

October 29, 2006

A mother and her children are visiting the library. Mother has brought snacks for when the tummy grumblies start. Sure enough, the tummy grumblies start, at least for the mother, and she pulls her children aside to a private corner of the library. Now understand, in this section of the library eating is not allowed. Nevermind those silly rules, the mother thinks, it's easier to stay up here and eat our snack in peace than tromp all the way downstairs to the tables where eating is allowed. Very discreetly she gives her children the snack and warns them to not make a mess and stay in this corner. "Why?" her young son asks innocently. "Because we're not allowed to eat up here" answers the mother. And before the words are even out of her mouth she realizes how ridiculous she is - breaking a simple rule and teaching her children to do the same!! For shame! Grateful that you can't rationalize rule breaking to a 5 year old and with a clean conscience, having 'fessed up her misbehavior to her children, the mother and her entourage stash their many books & bags in a safe spot and happily journey down to the "eating allowed" area.

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Karen on Oct. 30, 2006, 4:29 p.m.

Thanks for the honest story - using a simple rule to teach a large lesson. Well done, Mom.

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barbara on Nov. 3, 2006, 9:41 a.m.

The thing that I appreciate most about 'rules' is that they shape good habits. When we learn to accept a rule and live by it, it becomes part of our natural behavior. We actually learn to follow a rule without even thinking about it any more, it becomes so much a part of our life. Rules are important living standards for children to learn. Learning to follow rules with a good attitude paves their way to being accepted by society in the future when they live on their own. In the treatment centre where I work, learning to live by rules is the foundation of our treatment program. If we can teach our youth clients to follow rules, maybe we can keep them out of jail. Some of our rules are on positive behavior towards others (politeness, consideration, etc.), some are on manners (eg. table manners), some are on tidiness and cleanliness (to develop clean habits that will last a lifetime), some involve household chores, and some are on behaviors away from home. Learning self discipline, is imposing rules on ourselves. People who have problems following general rules are going to have even more problems with self discipline.

For example, when we drive a car, we should always follow the rules of the road. Always stop at a stop sign, or use our signal lights on turning, even if there is no other car in sight. It becomes habit-forming and we automatically stop, or signal on a turn, and we don't even have to think about it. If we run the stop signs when there is no traffic, or forget to signal on a turn, we break a good habit and might forget to stop and look, or signal a turn, sometime when there is a car coming, or following behind us. We could be in a serious accident, that we have caused by not following the rules at all times, and breaking a good, life-saving habit.

But of course there are times when we have to break a rule, or change it. Just like there are antiquated laws that have to be updated. Or the rule just doesn't 'work' for us any more. Or it might need some 'amendments'. Whatever! It is important not to have too many rules. Too many rules make life stressful. Rules are mainly for reasons of safety, health, protecting property, and respecting the personal boundaries of others.

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