November 4, 2006
I'm somewhat ashamed to even be complaining of a bad day. I mean really - I ate 3 healthy meals, I live in a mostly peaceful country, I am loved and provided for - so what could I possibly gripe about. Well, my children for one. I figure it's only honest to share my trials when other days I laud my children with a mother's pride & affection. Maybe it was the small amount of halloween candy, which is thankfully all gone now, maybe it's the approaching full moon. Whatever the reason, the kids were crazy today. They were bouncing off the walls, annoying each other, dawdling and disobedient.
But the behaviour wasn't really the worst of it. The worst is when the "I'm a bad mother" guilt set in. If I was more patient, kind hearted, self-disciplined, peaceful, centered (you name it) then my children would possess these characteristics also. And to a large degree I believe that to be true. My heart, attitude and behaviours sets the tone for my home. But some days the enemy twists that conviction into ungodly condemnation. Of course at the time I don't recognize it as such, I'm just stuck in "bad mother, bad homeschooler, bad homemaker" self-pity. Hardly a pleasant state to be.
So I'm in that state today and by midafternoon I gave up and quit nagging and just kind of zoned out. In my zoned out space I left the house to do errands without my wallet (I did at least bring the children) and ended up wasting a trip to the store and the time spent shopping because I didn't have any money to pay. I came home at 5pm frustrated and tired, totally uninspired to face supper and clean up. To have a few moments of peace I agreed to my children's relentless request for a DVD even though they hadn't finished the work I told them they needed to do before they watched a movie - add consistency to above list of all those character traits I'm lacking in - arrghhh!
But you know what - the day improved. Damien came home and we made supper together. We talked, I cried, he pulled me up out of my self-depreciation and pity. I must say I am amazed sometimes that this man trusts me with his children! Daddy supervised the rest of the house clean up. I cleaned up the kitchen in peace while Daddy played lego with the kids upstairs. The kids and I snuggled and read before bedtime. The bad day ended well.
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barbara on Nov. 4, 2006, 9:04 a.m.
Renee, you are a GOOD MOTHER. And you are a GOOD PERSON. And you are a GOOD TEACHER. So don't go blaming yourself for having a bad day. Everyone gets bad days sometime. If you didn't, how would you ever recognize a good day?
There are more reasons than you can count on both hands for having a bad day. And none of them are anybody's fault. The Hallowe'en candy is the very likely culprit in the above scenario. Sugar can cause some nasty behaviors in children, highs and lows, and spinny behaviors that will drive you nuts especially in cold weather when they can't blow off the steam outside. If the candy is all gone, your good until Christmas! Funny how we celebrate with candy. Chocolates at Valentines, Easter eggs and chocolate bunnies at Easter. Maybe it's how people amuse themselves when the dark days of winter set in! Who knows!
PMS caused me to see everything in a dark, self-pitying way, when I was younger. My mother could always diagnose those times in me accurately, and promptly pointed out the cause. She introduced me to Midol, and it worked amazingly well for me. I even started calling it 'The Happy Pill'. To this day, I don't know what's in it and why it worked so well for me.
A big change in air pressure can cause mood swings. If you look in a field of horses, you can always tell when a storm is coming. The horses start jumping around kicking, rearing, frolicking (like the kids bouncing off the walls), and acting jumpy. When I was teaching, I noticed similar behaviors in an entire class of children when weather changes were in the wind. All the other teachers used to comment about it. Some teachers had special quick program changes saved especially for these occasions. Something to amuse and distract the children when an entire class started 'bouncing off the walls'. We used to just 'close the books' and go for an unscheduled walk. Or do some fun little surprise art project. Or play an unscheduled fun, destressing game. Or put a movie on the movie projector (we didn't have videos and DVD's in those days). The main thing was not to turn on yourself and take the blame for changes in the weather! Just shake your head, laugh it off, and roll your eyes up at God!
We just went through a time change. Some people have problems for a while getting used to time changes. It disrupts their sleep habits. And of course, the shorter daylight hours cause many people to feel depressed. I am sensitive to shorter daylight hours and it makes me feel anxious when it is always dark when I go to work and come home from work. Especially since I have to sleep during the precious daylight hours on my working days. I am taking vitamin D 1000's (sunshine in a pill), twice a day now and it is helping me quite a bit. When we lived in the log house, and I got depressed, Dad had a surefire cure for me. He took me for a walk. I was surprised how the fresh air elevated my mood. Even a walk at night worked wonders.
When people are coming down with a cold or flu or something, they can feel depressed and 'off' even before the actual symptoms of the illness are visable. So, slow down, kick your shoes off, put your feet up, and rest and take it easy when you feel a 'bad day' coming on. Throw a stew in the crock pot make yourself a warm cup of herbal tea, (or drink a tall glass of nice cold orange juice) and watch that movie with your kids. In fact, make it a party. Pop some popcorn to eat while you are watching the movie.
I wonder how other people cure their moodies? Care to share?