I'm ok

August 23, 2010

After the flood of e-mail (ok, four or so), including one this morning from my mom "you ok?", and comments to Friday's post I feel I need to come back to reassure you all. Everything's ok. It always has been but there is some upheaval in our family life right now. No emergencies or traumas, just change in the air that is putting my cozy life and comfortable routines in a state of flux. 

Even as a child I did not handle change well. My parents and I laugh now at the funny things I did in response to that most-dreaded nemesis of mine - change, aka transition.

But here I am a grown woman with children of my own and I must deal with this. And so that is what is going on.

Thank you all for your kind concerns. We went away this weekend to a small cabin on a lake. An outing planned months in advance that almost didn't happen because of my state of mind last week. But I'm so glad we followed through anyway. Photos and memories from this wonderfully relaxing weekend will probably be showing up on our blogs in the future. 

I have one last thought I want to share, though somewhat hesitantly. Many of you might have picked up that I am a follower of Christ. I guess you could say Christian though I often don't use that term since it carries so much negative baggage. I hate labels and prefer to just live and let my life show what I believe.

This morning I was drawn to read a scripture that gives me a lot of strength during challenging times. I'll be honest, the Bible or God's word, as I believe it to be, is where more and more these days I am drawing my strength and wisdom. I am reluctant to talk about this since there is too much religious talk in the world and not enough right living and I don't want to be another one of those voices that people just tune out as "being religious". I'm not, religious that is. But I have a faith in Christ and that is what I hold on to when I feel life floundering. 

After journaling this morning I found this passage and the first part about "at last you have renewed your concern for me" totally cracked me up after the outpouring of everyone's love in response to last Friday's post. Although Paul wrote this to the young church in Philippi a couple thousand years ago and my small concerns were nothing like his bodily suffering, the words he wrote are a teensy echo of my own experience. 

I rejoice greatly in the Lord that at last you have renewed your concern for me. Indeed you have been concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content in whatever the circumstances.

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

It's hard to wrap this up neatly after such powerful (at least for me) words. Contentment in all circumstances, even change and uncertainty. That is something I'm meditating on as I start this new week.