Flowers at the Farm

August 20, 2010

This has been an incredibly difficult week for me. And to add insult to injury I can't talk too much about it here and that's hard. I like writing out my angst. You should see the scrawl in my journals these days.

I briefly considered not taking my camera to the farm yesterday. Truth be told, I didn't even want to go to the farm to pick up our veggies. I wanted to just lay in bed or maybe write. But the veggies were waiting, the kids needed time outdoors and the day was just so beautiful.

That fact alone was another source of grief for me. I heap guilt on myself for not appreciating beautiful summer days. So when I'm in a funk on a such a day and not appreciating the gorgeous weather, I beat myself up for it. I'm pathetic and I'd like to some day get over my guilt complex.

Anyway we went to the farm and spent time swinging (Brienne and Laurent), reading (Celine), picking flowers (Brienne and I) and just hanging out. It was good.

Time at the farm didn't solve my problems and because Brienne forgot her shoes (only children forget shoes) I was late getting home for starting supper which added minor complication to our day. But it did get me out of the house, removed me from my (mostly in my head) problems, guilt, and exhaustion for an hour or so.