I may have been wrong about myself

March 6, 2013

I had the pleasure recently of speaking with Heather Caliri from the blog A Little Yes. Heather's blog is all about saying "yes" in your life and she's writing a series of interviews called One Woman's Yes, sharing the stories of different women who have said yes in their life.

Heather interviewed me about the yeses in my own life, specifically as related to my faith. Our conversation tacked, unexpectedly in the direction of finances, and what it means to say yes to letting go of financial security so you can pursue a family dream or desire. 

I used to think I wasn't a yes woman. In fact if you were to visit my home and eavesdrop on our family conversation you might think I'm a "no" mom. The kids will ask something and I'll often say "no". It's just my default. But my kids know this about me, that I default to no, and so very often a good argument (and I don't mean fight, I mean a well presented case), a rewording of the question, or even a "get real Mom" sort of sentiment will often produce a yes response. In fact most of my nos become yeses. I'm consisently inconsistent so I think there's some consistency in that (smile).  

It must be a defense mechanism. I have to say "no" straight out of the gate so I don't commit myself to something I will later regret. "But you said..."

I do this a lot in my life in general. Protect myself by saying no but usually come around to saying yes. So I thought that maybe I was not a yes woman. But after my interview with Heather I think that's a wrong self-assessment. 

I have said yes to so many things in the last few years that I'm not even the same person I was. I don't do the same activities. I don't have the same priorities (the values are the same). I don't even always speak the same language. I have said yes to so many steps along the way that I am now saying yes to big adventures that I would have never thought possible as a younger woman and mom. 

I used to think I was a no woman but I may have been wrong about myself. I do say no but then I often say yes - to Damien, to the kids, to God. And after so many cumulative yeses I don't think I can call myself a no person anymore.