The hidden work of nurturer, caregiver, mother, healer, and homemaker

November 15, 2019

Meet Emily Crofts: Mother, homemaker, artist, healer, and nurturer

Like many of my podcast conversation partners, Emily and I have known each other for many years online. I had the pleasure of meeting Emily and her family and staying at her home eight years ago when Damien and I were traveling through Utah.

Emily has been an inspiration to me for years in how she brings art, compassion, and skill (to name just a few attributes) to the work of loving her family and providing for their physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. It was an honor to have this conversation with her.

The two of us talked for long time. So I've divided our talk into two parts dealing with two main themes.

This first interview is about Emily's work as a mother and homemaker. The next interview, to be released next month, is about her crisis of faith and evolving spirituality.

One of the things I appreciate most in talking with Emily is her complete honesty. You probably know by now I deeply value that in my relationships, in my own writing, and in my podcast. For me, it is the highest honor when someone tells me how it really is for them. When they feel safe enough, or loved enough, or heard enough to share their heart. Their dreams, hopes and joys; their fears, feelings of inadequacy, and struggles.

Emily honored me, and honored all of us, with this type of open-hearted conversation.

Emily is a mother of five children, four who have left the nest and one still in high school. She talks about her nearly 30 years of mothering, her struggle with perfectionism when the kids were little, and her transition to being a mother of adult children and the role she still plays in their lives. (We also talk about her deep joy in being grandma Emmy.)

We talk about the practices that build a warm, comforting, healing, welcoming, and beautiful home life, Emily's area of expertise.

Emily shares her experience of being an artist, telling the story of her teenaged and young adult interest in art, the dormancy of that desire and skill while raising young children and the rediscovery of this interest (and obvious talent) in recent years.

And we talk about something Emily and many other homemakers struggle with - owning our value in a society that measures worth by financial contributions. Emily shares a quote from the cookbook "The New Laurel's Kitchen" by Laurel Robertson.

Any work you do for a selfless purpose without thought of profit is actually a prayer. Do we not hallow places by our very commitment to them?

Probably my favorite part of the interview is here at the end where Emily talks about her work as mother, nurturer, healer, artist, and homemaker as sacred work, hallowed work. And is honest about the isolation, uncertainty, and loneliness she sometimes experiences in doing that work.

In the next episode we talk about the isolation, uncertainty and loneliness of spiritual evolution and crises of faith. And how Emily's own experience with this rocked her marriage, mothering and family life to the core.

Maybe in talking about these things, in sharing our stories, we honor those hard spaces and seasons in our lives. We recognize the struggle we each face to live according to our callings and convictions, in our particular context.

And maybe in our openness to another's experience, to listen without selfish purpose or aim, we can make a hallow space for our common dreams, hopes and joys; fears, feelings of inadequacy, and struggles.

Listen to this interview

Join my Patreon at the $5/month tier and have access to this and all previous interviews. A new podcast episode is released the beginning of every month. (P.S if you only want this interview you can sign up, listen to the interview and then cancel your support at any time. But while you're signed up make sure to check out all the other interviews I have, you may find more that you're interested in.)