Self-Awareness


The irony of the real me

The irony of the real me

When I feel secure I want to go places. I open myself to adventure. But adventures lead to unknown territory, a certain amount of "leaping out in faith", moving past what you can plan, and all of that feels threatening to my security and stability.

Looking for security

Looking for security

I need to own this part of my story and myself. I feel my best self, my confident self, my most at-ease self with security in general and financial stability, in particular.

Holding space for tension

Holding space for tension

For years I tried to organize, manage, erect boundaries, make the best choice, follow the right authority as a means to avoid tension. But you can't avoid the tension of living, you need to hold space for it.

I'm not doing Advent this year

I'm not doing Advent this year

We long for a rescue, for the arrival, but what if that reality is already here? What if the rescue is knowing God, not outside of the shitty stable, but right in it? Not in the resolution of the hard thing, but in the experience of it?

Did I really say that?

Did I really say that?

A big part of The Reckoning for me is realizing I'm not exempt from the natural order of growth and development. I'm not a special snowflake. I don't get to by-pass the necessary parts of the journey because I'm a good planner. It doesn't work that way.

The Reckoning ~ A series intro

The Reckoning ~ A series intro

The reckoning has hit me with a sense of regret, loss and failure. But, and this this is a big but, I'm learning to explore those feelings in the healing contexts of remembering, acceptance, and growth.

A season of discomfort

A season of discomfort

Making changes can resolve a present discomfort. But when we resolve this discomfort, a new one will arise. After you encounter this pattern enough you start to clue in that discomfort is part of the human experience.