Almost ten

April 10, 2009

My oldest will be 10 next month. She has been a joy to parent right from the beginning - really. (This can't be said of all my children!) Everything has been very smooth sailing until... now.

Are there any other parents of ten year old girls, or almost ten year old girls out there nodding their heads right now? Please share any wisdom, I'm all ears.

I want to respect my daughter's privacy, she reads this blog and I want her to know (Celine, I want you to read this part) I absolutely adore her. When I think about it I start to cry, as in right now I'm tearing up. I can't say enough how proud I am of her and how happy I am to be her mother.

But almost ten is throwing me for a loop because I feel it's throwing her for a loop. She's ready for new challenges, responsibilities, freedoms and experiences but neither of us are quite sure what those are. We're on the cusp of something, tottering at the edge of a change.

At least for now her room is still the same. Stuffed dogs and horses, a tidy bed, 4 inch stack of bedside books and porcelain dolls on the windowsill. My little girl.

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Family Life & Kids

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Denise on April 10, 2009, 9:11 p.m.

I have two girls 9 and 11. One minute best of friends next worst of enemies. some days so easy to be around other days they make me pull my hair. Love them completely.

I can relate.

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shelli on April 10, 2009, 11:06 p.m.

I can offer no advice because I don't have a 10 year old, as you know. But my husband and I visited some friends over Thanksgiving, and they have a 12 year old girl that they homeschool. The mom said that something just happened to her girl recently, and all her friends said that around 12, their daughters changed too...quiet and more withdrawn. Growing pains, I guess. That's a tough age.

But whatever your daughter needs right now, I'm sure you'll figure it out with time.

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Naomi on April 11, 2009, 11:42 p.m.

Obviously I can't speak from a parent's perspective because my daughter hasn't even reached the age of one yet, but I can speak as a daughter. As a child, I had a VERY close relationship with my mom and I shared everything with her. I couldn't imagine growing apart. Unfortunately, my parents divorce changed that entirely, and I lost a lot of respect for both my parents. If it had been different, I think my progression from dependant daughter to independant daughter would have been a lot easier and enjoyable to both of us. And now my mom and I (although I have had to learn to put aside the past) share some wonderful times together.

I do remember, though, my mom encouraging me to make my own decisions. Usually around my birthday every year, my parents would agree on some new responsibilities and freedoms that I was ready for. I remember looking forward to each new step, and that the balance between freedoms and responsibilites made it easier for me to enjoy both. Of course, every daughter is different, some are ready for varying levels of independance earlier than others, or later than others. I think that kids reach a point (as with every other stage of childhood) where they prove that they are ready to handle more things that come with adulthood. As with all other forms of child-led parenting, I think it's easier to follow the lead of the child/young adult so we don't force them to grow up or to keep them from being free to grow up.

So how's that for an answer? :0)

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renee on April 13, 2009, 11 a.m.

Thanks friends for the personal e-mails and encouragement here.

I agree Naomi about following our children's lead. I intend to do that.

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Andie on April 14, 2009, 3:21 a.m.

Would love to chat about this...so sad we don't live closer. 10 has been a wild year and we are hitting 11 here in a few months. All I can say is hold on to your hat, it's gonna be an interesting year. It's hormones dear. According to my friends with older girls it appears as if they kick in earlier and earlier. Mwah, a.

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