December 18, 2024
I know a guy is how things go with my dad. Although Dad only moved here in his mid-fifties, as a highly extroverted, locally-based business owner, it’s like he’s been here all along.
Left to my own devices I would have been googling u-pick tree lots, but my parents know a guy and this is where they’ve got their tree in past years. Also, I’ve had no time with my school paper to figure out where to get a tree or how to get it. But I didn’t have to do that work, I could just tap into my parents’ knowledge, network, and resources. I’m still getting used to this.
Sunday was Tree Day. And yes, the process takes the better part of a day, especially a winter’s day with its shortened daylight hours.
First, there's driving to the lot, the time spent shooting the breeze and then talking shop, in this case the cost of building things, and “how much do you reckon a cow shed this big and with these materials will run me…”. (The tree farmer also has cows.) After this comes the process of choosing the tree. Then there's the drive back home and setting it up.
It’s an undertaking.
Having sold trees to my parents in the past, the tree farmer knew the size we’d be looking for, roughly.
But this was my decision and my purchase, with the tree going in our house and I had to make the final call. Gulp. So much responsibility.
The tree farmer pointed out the first one for our consideration. Too big, we determined. He then directed us to something a little different, a red spruce. It was so beautiful, but the spruce wasn’t the one.
So we were pointed to another area of the field, with this balsam and it was the one.
It’s hard in the field to get a sense for size, especially since this is my first time doing this. What we choose was a 9 foot tree and although we could go taller with our 20+ foot cathedral ceiling I wouldn’t want the base of the tree to be much bigger than this.
In the process of walking around and choosing the right tree there was much to learn and talk about. We learned things about trees in general, we learned about Christmas tree farming and Christmas tree growing in specific.
Baby red spruce
We wandered the field and marvelled at nature together, especially the little tree-like ferns that at first glance look like baby trees.
The farmer showed us some of the labours required for Christmas tree production, the clipping of lower branches for example, a process our tree seems to have escaped during its 15 year life. (We counted the rings on the freshly cut stump.)
What we were doing - showing up at the tree lot, walking the field, taking our pick - is not the tree farmer’s primary business. This isn’t an advertised tree lot. This tree farm is mostly for export and the farmer explained how he sorted and shipped tress according to the type, length, and grade.
We got a bit of a tree farm education. We got a tree. We tied another knot in the thread that connects our family to local growers and producers, a tapestry my parents have been creating already for years.
Getting a substantial tree is important to me. There are traditions to uphold. My kids have fond memories of big trees at Nana & Papa’s and I’d like to keep that going for them, and for all of us here at The Sanctuary. We’re making Christmas for all of us after all, not just the kids.
I appreciated the help and tools from my dad which basically made the whole process possible. He knows the farmer, he has the truck and trailer, he has the appropriate tree stand and he’s got years of experience setting up the tree in our home, which includes screws that are left, year round, in the beam at the front of the house that are used with wire to make the sure the tree stays upright.
One year my parents' fully decorated tree, taller than this one maybe, fell in the night. Miraculously only 1 decoration broke.
That’s a tree story that we don’t want to become tradition so we secure the tree to the beam.
The family project of Tree Day ended with a potluck supper and dessert (goodies my parents have already received as Christmas gifts from friends and neighbours) shared ’round our wood stove.
The timing of holiday preparations are not a tradition for us. What we do and when we do it and how much of it we do really depends on the year and where we’re having Christmas.
The Christmas holiday itself, the days that we spend together as a family, that has definite traditions and things we do, which evolve through the years of course. But getting ourselves ready for that holiday looks a little different year by year.
Years ago, while the kids still lived at home as teens and young adults, we simplified our family gift giving to a Secret Santa exchange where everyone is only responsible for one gift. This means I only have 1 gift to prepare for Christmas. So that’s the easiest part of my Christmas preparations.
This year, with the late fall intensity of my school work, I couldn’t give much attention to making Christmas until December 15. Gotta say, that’s a little late, even for me. But like I said, it depends on the year and for this year, its what I could give.
This is the first year that my parents' old home is now the Tougas family home and for me it’s such a special year. I get to host Christmas in my own home.
During our nine Christmases in Montreal we always travelled for our Christmas celebrations, mostly because our house wasn’t big enough to host Christmas but also because we wanted to get out of the city and do something special. We tried ski-Christmases for a couple years.
One year we went the Laurentians, another the Eastern Townships. During Covid our family of 5 went to the Gaspesie, desperate for different scenery. All the other years we came here.
This year the Sanctuary will host 11 people. Between the three living spaces that we now have on the property - our house, my parents home across the driveway, and the garage loft where my brother is living (which was renovated this fall and is being finished this week with kitchen tiling and counter tops) - we have ample cooking, eating, sleeping and hanging out space for all the peeps.
Festivities/activities will be spread over a 12 day period from my brother’s birthday on December 23rd to the departure of Brie & Ian on January 3rd. It just occurred to me we’ll have 12 days of Christmas.
All the kids are coming home for Christmas (this is the first time I’ve been able to write about kids coming home for Christmas) but because of Christmas celebrations with their partners’ families we are doing our Christmas later than the actual Christmas Day.
To have them all coming here in our first year of the empty nest is incredibly meaningful to me. I don’t really care when we do the meal and gift exchange, my babies are all coming home!
In previous years when we were travelling and would arrive somewhere for Christmas a few days before December 25th, everything needed to be done and ready by our departure date. This year we don’t start hosting until December 24th when Laurent arrives. For me, this means I have until midday December 24th to get everything ready, whereas some years I had to be ready to travel by December 21st.
All of that to say, starting Christmas household preparations mid-December felt doable. It’s not an expansive preparation period, but it’s enough. And enough was all I had this year.
Yesterday Mom and I drove to the city for the big Costco grocery shop and for some other household odds and ends, including an IKEA run. Just being together made it fun and festive.
Damien did our outdoor lights on Tree Day. I have to string lights on the tree and eventually (this weekend probably) decorate it.
Mom’s been baking and preparing traditional Christmas foods (snacks and treats) for weeks already. Thank goodness for Mom! One of these years, sooner than later, I will start doing this also, but while I’ve been a student that’s not possible.
I have ginger molasses cookie dough ready in the fridge for baking, and two more treat recipes printed, ready to be baked after more grocery shopping later this week. So many groceries!
The biggest job remaining is to complete the meals spreadsheet, the one that details what home is hosting which meals, what meals are shared, and who’s contributing what to those meals. Bringing this many people together for a period of time requires organizing and communicating responsibilities and contributions, especially related to food and kitchen work.
More grocery shopping remains to be done for those meals, and for the lunches and snacks in between for the 7 people within my household. When I start to get panicky about this I remind myself that grocery stores are open during Christmas holidays and full of food. I don't have to secure it all in advance.
Come the weekend both Damien and I are off work till January 6th. Sunday is my parents' annual neighbours’ Christmas brunch. Our first snow storm is also in the forecast for Friday and Saturday.
It’s Christmas at the Sanctuary. There's no other place I’d rather be.
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