Identifying (and sinking myself into) what brings meaning right now

April 30, 2021

April was a rough month, for a couple reasons.

For one thing, this pandemic wears on, and on, and on.

My school load lightened, which theoretically would be welcomed. Less stress! Less work! But instead it left me feeling rudderless and like I was drifting.

What am I doing with my life, exactly?

I have been asking myself this question and reflecting on my overall malaise this month and came to a somewhat obvious conclusion that I need to be heavily investing myself (time, energy, thoughts) in my education right now.

I DO know what I’m doing with my life but because it’s a new phase for me I’m still learning the boundaries for time and energy commitments. And that self-discovery process can be bumpy.

(See also: pandemic.)

April, with its easier schedule, “lulled” me into a place of forgetting my goals and comparing myself to what I see (largely on social media) of other people’s lives. (Never a good thing. But something I fall into from time to time. This was one of those times.)

In this video I’m on my way to French class and I’m sharing my thoughts on finding meaning in my life right now.

P.S. Happy Beltane & Happy May Day. I'll be planting my garden this weekend and that will be my celebration of the season. I long to have a rip-roaring bonfire in the yard and sit around it with friends. But alas, no fires in the city. And friends are still not allowed to visit. Someday...