A Week of Un-Thanksgiving

November 23, 2010

This year Brienne's birthday falls on Thanksgiving Day. This "phenomenon" occurs every few years and the last time I recall it happening was six years ago when she turned two. We're not Americans (Brienne just corrected me, she and Laurent are Americans) so we don't have a history of celebrating Thanksgiving in November. In years past we have appreciated being included in other people's celebrations.

With Brienne's birthday coinciding with Thanksgiving though we decided to do another un-Thanksgiving. Instead the day will be about her, with her favorite foods (take out pizza for supper) and hanging out together. 

But that doesn't mean this week I'm off from cooking duty. Hardly. We still have a little girl to celebrate with a cake and tea party on Wednesday with a friend.

While all around me, at least here in the US, everyone is focusing on Thanksgiving, my energies are going to birthday preparations and I feel out of sync.

I feel out of sync in other ways also, a repeat (or resurfacing?) of the loneliness and isolation I expressed in this post. Part of that feeling is due to my focus on home and heart these days. The grey weather, without a doubt, intensifies those emotions.

I have a list of Christmas gifts I am excited to make, as soon as Brienne's birthday is over (one thing at a time) but my overall creative groove is shifting gears and my camera often sits unused for days at a time.

There are big changes ahead that I am preparing for in my mind and heart and right now I just need time to mull them over. I haven't been writing much either, which may start to show in the frequency and content of the posts here in the coming weeks. 

I've been taking hot baths. Tucking myself into bed at 9 pm with a book or two. And last night, a Monday of all nights when we work hard to get supper on the table early, do garbages and recycling and then walk to the library -  we stayed home instead. Had a slow supper, made hot cocoa and watched a movie together.

I like this slowing down of days and the increased time for reflection and thought. The feelings of loneliness I could do without but sometimes life is just like that.