My sweet spot

Hi Laura,

Our physical activity plan for our kids has two parts really.

Firstly, physical activity is required in our home. Along with chores, teeth brushing, contributing in the kitchen, etc. It is expected, scheduled, and also honored, that everyone will be exercising at some point in the day. We used to require the kids to go outside for this time but this doesn't work well for Celine anymore so she does an indoor exercise routine on the weekdays (mixed with outdoors and weekend skiing).

Also, we regulate the amount of time our kids spend "consuming" digital media by having them earn their "tv" time with physical activity. By "consuming" we mean sitting in front of a screen to be entertained - by a video game, TV show, or movie.

We do not limit our kid's use of technology and digital media for education and learning and connecting with people, which means that kids (and adults) are on computers, iPads, and smartphones a lot in our house. Research, writing, talking with friends (still no texting, the kids don't have phone plans), documentaries, recipes online, audiobooks - a lot of media-stuff goes on in house every day.

But our kids also want to watch TV shows, play video games, etc. And they earn this with physical activity.

I've written about our philosophy on technology literacy here.

So, we require our kids to do something active, preferably outside, every day, (with exceptions of course). They can then use this time as a gauge for how much tv/gaming time they get in the day.

Although our kids earn gaming/tv time with the outdoors it's not really about rewarding physical activity with inactivity, for us it's just a simple way for everyone to know what the rules are, so we're not forever answering the "can I watch...?" question.

I've answered this question before, and here's what an excerpt from an email I responded to about what physical activity time=tv/gaming time looks like. 

During the school week, Monday - Friday, we allow only 1/2 an hour of gaming time before 5pm. After 5pm the kids are free to game, tv watch etc. all they want (assuming they've earned it). The beauty however is that life is full of other things, like cooking, meal clean up, evening classes so all that "unlimited time", isn’t so unlimited after all. It’s limited by life itself, which is the whole idea we’re trying to teach the kids. 

The rules change on the weekends. On the weekends it’s a straight outdoor time=computer/consumption time any time of day. So if they spend 2 hours skiing in the morning they’ll have 2 hours of gaming in the afternoon, or whatever. However, once again, life is full of other things and activities. So it is rare for someone to have 3 hours of gaming on a Saturday or Sunday afternoon, there’s just too much else going on, which is intentional (smile).

We want a rich life for our kids - physical activity, the outdoors, community involvement, church, youth group, getting together with neighbors and friends, chores, working in the house, etc... Between their part time jobs, friday night youth, weekend skiing, sleeping in (if possible, they always sleep late), cleaning the house for a couple hours with me, chilling with books, drawing, sewing, etc. there isn’t a whole lot of time for big blocks of gaming on the weekend, though theoretically they have the freedom to do that.

Laura, I completely understand the way you feel about reading and our children's response to learning - the changes how they access information, etc. in the digital world. Without a doubt, my kids read less "books" than they would if that were the only way they could learn. But books, like schools, are not the only source of learning anymore. I have had to let go of some of my "bookish" leanings to accept what works best for my kids in the world they are growing up in. 

Damien helps balance me out this way.

Damien is very logic smart. He's a deep thinker, a very good problem solver, and a technologically-minded intellectual. His knowledge goes deep, whereas mine tends to go wide (I dabble in a lot of things over the years, he goes deep in a few). He does not acquire his learning through books. He never has. In our 18 years of marriage, he's probably read 10 books(?) Almost all of them about diet, exercise and health. I read 10 books every couple months. I am a book learner. I read and write my way to understanding. 

The fact that Damien and I are both intelligent, healthy, active, responsible, loving, well-rounded (in our own ways) people encourages me that our children also will find their own learning paths and likely end up the same way. That's all I can hope for. 

But I know they will get there on a different path, a path much more digital and technological than Damien or I experienced as kids. 

Having said that, because I value book learning (the same way Damien values our kids having challenging & off-the-beaten-track outdoor experience), I require book reading (digital or paper), at some level, from the kids. This is a daily thing mostly. 

I don't dictate what they have to read, but they have to have "reading a book" in their routine somewhere (in other words I don't want all their "learning" to come from wikipedia articles, RSS, youtube, The Oatmeal, and soundbite stuff). Celine is a voracious reader, so I can recommend all sorts of books to her, and if they catch her interest she devours them.  Laurent (14) is motivated to read books along the lines of superhero, cool-kid fiction mostly and I supply audiobooks for living book history type learning. Brienne is much like Laurent (but she likes books about girls, fashion, etc.) and I will supply "I'd like you to learn about this" audio books. The difference with Brienne is that she prefers paper books to digital. 

Sandra, I understand what you're saying. Commenter en français s'il tu plait si tu aime. 

Kathleen, may I ask which desert you live in? My husband and I are making our first trip ever to AZ this month. We're anticipating the new experience of hiking in a desert environment.