Stop Waiting For the Stars to Align

July 7, 2011

Before we moved I had this interesting notion, a fantasy really, that after we moved life would slow down just a bit.

You know where this is going already don't you? (I hear you laughing in the back row).

To be sure, life has slowed down in one respect. No longer do we have that huge moving deadline hanging over our heads - thank goodness! House renovations, tenant preparations, sorting, decluttering, packing all our belongings to fit in a trailer. And then all the paperwork stuff required to move the past eleven years of our life from one country to another.

Meeting that deadline was very difficult. The most physically and emotionally taxing thing we've accomplished together so far in our whole married life.

And so in one respect life has been easier post-move. There was a huge push towards that end goal and all that is now behind us.

But the end goal was actually just the starting point, a turning of the page, into a new chapter of family life. And now that we're writing this new chapter in our family story we're working towards different goals, another push.

It feels better though. It feels like freedom (with delayed mail service). It feels like walking a new trail instead of remaining on the well worn path that no longer took us in the direction of our goals.

The path of regular paycheck employment, of being attached to a home address and our own backyard. A path that was secure and predictable on the one hand, restricting and stifling on the other.

In my post-move fantasy of "walking this new trail" I had envisioned the days opening up for me to rest and write.

What rest?

It was daydreaming about the theoretical rest at the end that got me through those hardest moving days and weeks.

So I guess fantasizing that I'd get a break served its purpose in helping me just survive the worst of it. But when we finally arrived at my parents, safe and tired, I discovered I didn't want to rest. I wanted routine. I wanted to put my energies into the things I had neglected during the move.

I needed to get serious again about our family's health and invest my time once again in the kitchen - planning, preparing, feeding my family.

Our children's education needed attention after months of unschooling. This is not a knock against unschooling (I wholly embrace a lot of unschooling practices and remain committed to interest-led learning) but our kids were ready for routine and structure after so much disorder and upheaval.

And of course there was (and is) moving financial stuff (vehicle, insurance, bank accounts) to be attended to. As CFO of our household accounts these are my responsibility.

This is not the time to rest. This is the time to take care of my family. And I want to take care of my family.

What about writing?

For the past couple years I have been committed to writing for one hour each day (plus spending time on photos) to publish posts mostly for this blog and occasionally others.

With this move I want to do more than that. I need to do more than that if I plan to earn money from this craft. But it's been hard to figure out how to do this in my schedule of caring for family and home.

One of the reasons we moved was to pursue different opportunities in our lives. To grow creatively as a family and individuals, to pursue our passions and interests as a means to contribute financially to our family. Something we have not been allowed to do while living in the US.

I know what you might be thinking, "give yourself some time Renee to settle and adjust". This is exactly what my husband said but then he also said something else.

Make it a priority in your day.

(I love this man who supports my goals and dreams while earning the money to feed our family).

Said another way:

Stop waiting for the stars to align. For all the routines to be in place. For the perfect day to come along when everything lines up just-so and you can sit down to write for three hours.

That is simply not a reality in my life. And if I wait for the stars to align to pursue writing I will never be the writer I want to be.

If I want to write more, I have to make writing a priority in my day.

That's enough speak for one day. I'm tired out from all this one sided talking. But I plan to delve into this topic and have an honest look at making time for our priorities as busy mothers and homemakers (and many of us homeschoolers as well).

Specifically, I'd like to share: