Book Reviews ~ A Mother's Memoir & Parenting Resources

April 11, 2011

Each of these books merit their own dedicated post. But my editorial calendar is just so full these days so I'm packing it all into one. It's a long post but these are great books to read if you are a mother, parent or homeschooler.

Let's start off with a photo of me (taken by Laurent) in one of my favorite places - my afternoon reading chair. I don't read every afternoon but when I am reading a particularly compelling book you'll find me sitting in this chair every chance I get. 

The Gift of an Ordinary Day: A Mother's Memoir

by Katrina Kenison

Without a doubt The Gift of an Ordinary Day is one of the best books I've read in the past six months.

As you can see I "stickied" many, many pages of this book so I could go back to re-read favorite quotes. Sadly, I had to remove the stickies to return the book to the library but my favorite quotes I kept.

Kenison's book spoke to me on so many levels. She talks about the very subjects that are front and center in my life. Moving, the definition of home, motherhood, writing, intentional living, beauty, and kindness. Though not a homeschooler herself much of what she writes (and her heart as a mother) applies to the homeschooling life also. The questioning, trusting, and searching for what is best for our children. 

When we focus on the what is good and beautiful in someone, whether or not we think that they "deserve" it, the good and beautiful are strengthened merely by the light of our attention. When we choose to see and appreciate what is good and beautiful in our children, that goodness can't help but grow, and their beauty blossoms forth. {emphasis mine}

Her book deals a lot with something else that is difficult for me to accept with grace - the inevitability of change.  

But the reality, or so I tell myself, is that I've never really been in control anyway. I glimpse the perfection of my own life only in retrospect, rarely in the moment, when I can barely see beyond the end of my nose. And try as I might to hold on or to avoid change, the best I can hope to do is make my way through all these ups and downs one day at a time, viewing the inevitable seasons of transition and transformation as opportunities to relinquish the old beliefs and possessions that no longer serve me all that well anyway.

Kenison's memoir chronicles the years of her two sons' adolescence, with a nostaglic look back at their younger years. As if those teenage growing pains are aren't difficult enough, Katrina's family had the added tumult (and this is where I really identify) of a life changing move. 

I stand at the threshold of both - a child reaching adolescence and a move to align our daily living with our deepest values. 

On nearly every page I felt like Katrina was writing to me. Words written from a mother's heart to be shared with another mother's heart. It was really that powerful for me. Even if you aren't moving or don't have nearly adolescent children in your home (ah... how did this happen!?) if you are a mother you should read this book. 

As the title suggests, Kenison's book encourages us to embrace "the gift of the ordinary" and I love this perspective. I love celebrating the ordinary beauty of home, nature, creativity, and relationships. 

Maybe this is what I'm meant to understand during this slow descent into winter and all the changes that lie just around the corner. That there is no such thing as a charmed life, not for any of us, no matter where we live or how mindfully we attend to the tasks at hand. But there are charmed moments, all the time, in every life and in every day, if we are only awake enough to experience them when they come and wise enough to appreciate them. Sitting at dinner with my husband and sons, I realize that there is nothing I want more than what we have right now - the simple fact of us, here, all together, for a little while longer.

I really appreciate Katrina giving me permission to print these quotes. If you are interested in buying the book please see her site. And if you'd like a good cry be sure to watch her video.

I'll leave you with one last quote which is especially applicable to my life right now. 

Moment by moment, we have the opportunity to say yes, to move into our lives and open ourselves to the adventure - but that doesn't mean that we ever really know where we're going or that we can predict what we'll find when we get there. If we're lucky, though, the life we end up leading is one that makes us feel alive.

Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

by Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross

I reserved this book through the library after seeing it referenced on several blogs I read. My most recent exposure was at the blog Clean where Rachel is leading a Simplicity Parenting Book Club. The book discussion is just starting and it's not too late to join if you're interested. 

When I got the book it was reassuring and not entirely surprising to see Katrina Kenison's endorsement on the back cover. At first glance I got the sense this book expressed a similar parenting philosophy to her own. But where Kenison's books Gift of an Ordinary Day and Mitten Strings for God are memoirs (I love good memoirs), Simplicity Parenting is more of a how-to manual.

To be honest, there was nothing new or "rock my world" revolutionary in this book for me. And after I picked it up at the libary and thumbed through I thought I'd probably return it unread. I know this stuff and I think we parent this way already (minus the use of waldorf silk play scarves). 

But when a Friday this month opened up before me unplugged and unplanned I picked up the book in earnest and read my way through most of it. 

It's good. I like the way the book focuses on four main areas towards simplifying your parenting patterns: Environment, Rhythm, Scheduling and Unplugging.

The fact that I read this on our own unplugged day was quite ironic. There are many good quotes in this book and it is chock full of interesting case studies and advice. The authors "present an antidote for children who are overscheduled and overwhelmed by too much information and a fast-paced consumer culture that threatens the pace and playful essence of childhood" (Publisher's Weekly review from the back to the book).

I definitely recommend it if you are looking for strategies to protect your family life from physical clutter, out of home commitments, outside influences and an overdose of media. Even if you think you've got those things under control it will encourage you to keep on the straight and narrow of enriching your family life with a less is more philosophy of living. 

Nurture by Nature: How to Raise Happy, Healthy, Responsible Children Through the Insights of Personality Type

by Paul D. Tieger and Barbara Barron-Tieger

This book has helped me see my children for who they really are. Not just in their relationship with me but who they are as individuals.

Like the title says, Nurture by Nature is about raising children with the understanding of personality types. Specifically, figuring out your own child's unique personality and how to be a better parent with that knowledge.

Reading this book helped me so incredibly much in understanding my children that I bought it after returning my copy to the library. If you know me, you know that is significant. We keep a very small reference library and this book is now one of those on the shelf. 

I've been going through a period of personal evaluation and reflection. Trying to understand my own personality and gain some confidence as I cautiously move from the safe and secure world of homemaking into writing and other entrepreunerial interests. 

But I don't want to just know myself, I want to really know my kids. I want to use that knowledge to help them learn and grow to their full potential. This book is helping me with that goal.

This is where I hang my head with a bit of embarrassment as I admit this book has also helped me accept, at face value, exactly who my children are. Of course I have loved them beyond measure and unconditionally from the start. But sometimes I respond to their unique and quirky personalities with a mentality of "What did I do wrong here?" or "How can I change this?". When in fact my children are just expressing how they are wired.

Now that doesn't mean we just sit back and let nature take its course in a misdirected Rousseau experiment. We nurture our children's individual natures - guiding, leading, teaching. But this book reminded me to recognize and accept that we are all born with a particular personality that influences so much of who we are and how we respond to our upbringing. 

Take for example Brienne's packrat tendencies (which drive me crazy). It turns out I'm not a flawed "simple living mom" just because my daughter has not embraced the message of less is more. For her more is more. And that is consistent with her personality type. Who knew! There are just some people who are wired to accumulate. 

Many ESTPs are fairly materialistic, and whatever they prize, they want in increasing numbers. Moderation is not a concept they naturally understand or live by. While the may have trouble holding on to money because they love to spend it, they are also pragmatic and can often find ways of quickly earning enough to satisfy their current needs, figuring that the future will take care of itself. 

This book was full of so many "ah-ha" revelations and moments of laugh out loud recognition. That above quote being one. The children also loved to listen to me read the summaries of their personality types, "read that part again mom!"

The book is definitely worth reading and I think it's worth owning. And that's saying something. 

I have a few more parenting and homeschooling books featured at our Amazon affiliate store. All are highly recommended.

Here's two more books I've recently read. They deserve more than just this brief mention. Apologies to the talented authors.

• Radical Homemakers: Reclaiming Domesticity from a Consumer Culture by Shannon Hayes. This book speaks my language and tells my story, sans chickens as we are "learning to create lives that honor social justice, ecological sustainability, personal creativity, true freedom and the joy of family and community."
• Three Cups of Tea: One Man's Mission to Promote Peace . . . One School at a Time by Greg Mortenson & David Oliver Relin. This will be required reading for our junior high/high school aged children. One person truly can make a difference. An amazing story, an amazing person. 

Have you read any good parenting books or memoirs lately?