New Year Insecurities
January 2, 2010
I promise to post, soon very soon, more about our trip.
It's actually written and ready to go but I wanted to share this first. I did spend some time writing while we were traveling, and this is it (below this introduction). Even though we were staying here, there and everywhere we had our laptop so I managed to keep up with my blog reading, it's like reading the paper for me. But after the Christmas lull ended and everyone started to post about their Christmas craftiness or New Year's greener living and being present resolutions I started to feel a bit insecure.
Neither of those is where I'm at right now. My mind is a swirl with a bunch of stuff, none of which will be appearing on this space anytime soon. So, no crafts, no resolutions and my tree is dropping its brown needles as I type.
{Post written December 29th while traveling}
Right now, as I catch up on my Google Reader, I am feeling insecure about my lack of craftiness (and unwillingness to spend the time it takes to make pj's for each child for Christmas); viewing and reading about all the wonderful things that other mama's made for their young ones, families, neighbors and friends. Neighbors & friends? I'm happy with myself if I manage to give gifts to my kids & parents.
I'm also insecure about people's financial goals and realities. And how little they manage to spend on groceries. I've already talked about how much we spend on groceries (with my husband's full support and endorsement)... lots. Local foods and produce don't come with coupons.
Why do I do this? Compare myself to others.
Here I am. Sitting right now in a stranger-turned-friend's apartment, being exposed to a new language, discovering a new area, meeting new people. Spending very little money doing so and giving my soap to gracious hosts as we go and I still feel insecure. You know what I want? Maybe you could call it a New Year's resolution.
To be perfectly content with where I am, with our goals and to stop comparing myself to other people.
