February 23, 2011
Last week sent me for a loop. Deadlines, expectations, insecurities, winter blah, and the full moon seemed to conspire against me. My best attempts to "be on top of everything" together with the reality of our moving preparations was threatening to overwhelm me. And so by the end of the weekend Damien and I came to a few conclusions about my priorities in the upcoming months.
Laurent's candid shot of Brienne and I in the kitchen
I honestly thought I’d be able to maintain some kind of home schooling, home management, daily writing, self care and full time chef schedule till at least the end of March.
I was wrong. Or at the very least optimistically naive
You might recall this well thought out and oh-so-tidily put together post on organizing and evaluating. In which I laid out the flow of our days (for what I hoped would be a couple months but in reality was just one). Well, I’ve evaluated my organizing and have decided to throw it out the window.
What this means practically is that:
My most important priority is a home life that is joyful, loving, and nourishing even during an intense season of life. There is no mental and emotional space in my life right now for routines, activities and mindsets that threaten those goals.
We've reached the point in this move where it's time to simply our home management so the routines serve our needs, not the other way around. I'm not committing to a daily or even weekly schedule. I'm committing to my family's health, my own sanity, a peaceful home, and getting ready to move.
I release myself from all expectations to be the "perfect" mother, win natural homemaker of the year award, be a focused homeschooler, and kick-butt blogger. Yeah right. Easier said than done.
I don't think you'll notice any outward changes in this space but behind the scenes I feel more at peace and on target with our days. This is a good thing.
*Philosophically we are not unschoolers and although I may have presented it as such, I don’t believe that unschooling is a “way-out”. Unschooling takes a lot of dedication, trust and attentiveness as a parent. What I’m doing is releasing myself from the mental burden of my unrealistic homeschool expectations for this season of family life. Unschooling is just an easy way to say that.
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